Double Trouble – Chapter 12 – ‘Kidnapping’ is Such a Harsh Word

Charlotte

“Princess!?” the girl beneath me screamed, even as the offending valkyrie calmly looked to the side like she hadn’t totally just blown my cover. 

…Of course, I had just ordered her to look the other way. It definitely wasn’t that she was purposefully ignoring me and planning to hurry away just to avoid my ire… right?

“What did she mean princess!?”

“Could you please shut up about my secret identity?!” I asked as politely as I could manage under the circumstances. Which… maybe wasn’t that polite, but what can I say? These were extenuating circumstances!

“Secret identity?” she demanded. “Then you’re… You mean, you’re the actual de-”

“Human princess!” I interrupted, thinking quickly. “I’m a human princess.”

“You have wings,” she pointed out flatly. “And a tail.”

“And the demon princess has angel wings – you know, the ones with feathers? These are clearly demon wings, all leathery and the like. That’s why I was disowned by my very human family.”

“…So you’re saying you’re not the demon princess because you have demon wings?” She sounded distinctly unimpressed.

“Okay, first of all, it’s ‘a’ demon princess – there are two of them, and second… uh… maybe? Yes? Yes I am.”

“Uh-huh…” She stared at me for a long moment before shrugging. “Whatever. So, are you going to turn me in, your highness, or am I free to go?”

“Of course I’m going to turn you in! I mean, trying to steal food is one thing – I get hunger – but you were willing to drop a fucking cabinet on me! If I was anyone else, I might have been seriously injured!”

“Anyone who wasn’t a demon princess?” the girl under me asked, arching an eyebrow.

“…N-No? I mean, no. I’m not a demon princess! I’m just a normal human princess!”

“Because it’s a totally normal thing to find a human princess playing hero in the streets after dark?” she scoffed. 

“Unlike a demon princess?” I countered.

“…Says the demon princess.”

“Am not!” I protested, rising off of her a little so that I could cross my arms and glare down at her.

She took the opportunity to try and punch me in the face, but I… well, honestly just sorta took it?

“Ow! My hand!”

“Well, yeah, what did you think was going to happen if you punched a… uh… heroic figure?” I scoffed, turning my head away from her. Not blushing! Definitely not blushing!

“Uh-huh… Look, can’t you just let me go? I promise not to reveal your secret identity or whatever.”

“That’s not the point! What if I let you go and you hurt someone?”

“What if you don’t and I tell everyone that there’s a demon princess in town doing sneaky shit?”

“Like anyone would believe you! You’re an unknown girl from… I’m assuming the streets? There’s no way anyone’s going to take your word for it.”

“I’ll tell them to run it by the valkyries,” she said smugly. “If one of them knows you’re here, they all know, and they don’t exactly seem to have the tightest lips. I bet that even if you tried to order them to be quiet I’d still be able to get them to spill with a few careful questions.”

“That’s… No?” I tried.

She didn’t look like she believed me.

“Well, I’m not just letting you go!” I said, firmly. “I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if you went on to, like, murder the next person who finds you.”

“I wasn’t trying to murder you!” she protested. “Just… slow you down a little… through potentially lethal means…”

“That’s attempted murder!” I declared loudly. A bit too loudly. People were starting to look through their window shutters. “Shit. Okay, look, I’m not letting you go, so how about you… I don’t know… Travel with me for a bit?”

“‘Travel with you’?” she asked flatly. “And why would I do that?”

“Because you’ll probably like all the other options I can come up with a lot less?” I suggested. “Like having my… I mean, the Goddess Liz lock you up or deliver some edict about a global manhunt for you.”

“Because that’s totally a thing that a human or demon princess can do,” she laughed. At first. “You… Wait, seriously!? I was just stealing some food!”

“And you’ll have plenty of food if you stick with me. You’ll never go hungry again! And I can keep you from doing any murdering that would weigh on my conscience! It’s the perfect solution!”

“It’s a stupid ‘solution’!” the girl argued.

“Well, it’s the best solution I’ve got and people are coming, so… not to put too fine a point on it, but are you coming with me or are you going to rot in divine jail until I figure things out?”

***

Mikaela

***

“And she chose the divine prison?” I asked, arching an eyebrow in amusement.

“Yeah, but it wasn’t like I was actually going to do that, so…” Charlotte glanced over her shoulder, towards the corner of the room where the diminutive criminal was currently standing, bound in a cocoon of dirt that left just her nose and eyes sticking out. “Do you think maybe I should let her out? She might have changed her mind at this point.”

“Or she might not have,” I replied. “She’s got a stubborn look in her eyes…”

“Well, what do you think I should do?” Charlotte asked. “I mean, I can’t just stick her in solitary confinement for the rest of her life…”

“It would help if we knew why she was stealing,” I remarked, eyeing the girl. “If it’s really just for hunger, I find it strange that she wouldn’t choose to follow you and get a steady source of food.”

“Really?” Charlotte asked, tilting her head. “She just seems like the sort who values her freedom to me.”

“…Maybe,” I conceded, unable to help a small frown. “But I’m afraid that her freedom went out the window when she learned our secret…”

“I don’t think we should arrest people just for knowing our secret,” Charlotte objected.

“I agree. But we can arrest a thief who also happens to be a loose end, don’t you think? Or do you really want to drag her along with us?”

“Mmm! Mmmm!” a noise came from the bound girl, who was desperately struggling against her bindings.

“…Could you undo the dirt cocoon? If nothing else, there’s got to be a more civil way of binding her.”

“Fine,” Charlotte agreed, “but she started screaming bloody murder right in my ear when I threw her over my shoulder, so… you know, you’ve been warned?”

“Noted,” I replied, quickly setting up a barrier around the room to keep sound from leaking. Just in time too, as the girl did indeed start screaming the moment her cocoon crumbled.

“Help!” she yelled as soon as her mouth was free. “I’ve been kidnapped by a couple of insane demon princesses!”

“Hey!” Charlotte protested. “We’re sane! Totally sane! And we didn’t kidnap you, we put you under arrest!”

“Under whose authority!?” the girl demanded.

“Our own. We’re princesses, remember?” I remarked, crossing my arms. “We can detain you for as long as we want, for whatever reason we want, and I quite frankly doubt anyone in the world would care. Except, perhaps, my sister, who seems to want to do right by you… as you seem to have already figured out, judging by how quick you are to try and push our limits. You must know no help is coming, yes? So what are you actually trying to accomplish by screaming like that?”

“Other than annoying you?” the girl asked with an irritatingly smug smile. “Maybe I just want to know what I can get away with.”

“A lot,” I told her plainly. “My sister doesn’t want to throw you in prison, and she certainly won’t appreciate any actions on my part that would lead to your untimely demise.” Not that I needed her to restrain me on that front, but I was fine playing the villain if it caused the girl even a little bit of fear. “The problem is that you have no idea what ‘a lot’ truly covers, let alone where my patience ends.”

“I can make an educated guess,” the thief replied. “As long as I don’t hurt anyone and just act like a pain in your ass, you won’t do anything to me. Right?”

“She won’t,” I confirmed, nodding before giving her a hard stare. “But I might. Regardless of whether my sister appreciates it. And don’t count on my sister to stop me in time, either. Even if she succeeds I doubt you’d be able to survive the collateral damage of a sisterly squabble between two demon princesses.”

That got to her, at least a little. She tried to hide it by looking away, but there was no denying how her cheeks paled by several shades.

“Mikaela!” Charlotte protested weakly, not putting in her normal vigor. It was more of a whiny complaint. Maybe her attempt to add to my threat by making herself seem almost impotent against my potential scheming?

“I’m sorry Charlotte, but she is a threat to us. If she goes too far, if she pushes us too much, if she tries to follow through and reveal us and what we are doing – I will immediately execute her.”

“S-So I’ll be fine if I follow orders and j-just do what I’m told, right?” the girl asked nervously. She tried to keep up the bravado, but I caught the way her voice cracked a few times. “Well… Screw you! I’m not just going to play at being some little helpless doll, alright? I do what I want!”

“What if I throw in three free meals a day, a soft place to sleep every night, and my promise not to interfere no matter how miserable you manage to make my sister?” I asked, arching an eyebrow.

“Deal!”

Seeing her cave the way she did, at the mention of food and teasing my sister… Perhaps it wouldn’t be so bad to her around? It meant that she had good taste in activities, at the very least.

***

“So… who’s the pipsqueak, exactly?” Reckt asked the next day, looking between me and Charlotte from her place on the other side of the breakfast table.

“Name’s Singh,” the girl declared between shoveling bites of mashed potatoes, sausage, and eggs into her mouth. “I’m your obligatory travel companion while your royal friends here decide whether I’m trustworthy.”

“Ixnay on the oyaltyray!” Charlotte quietly snapped at them, which mostly just got her a blank look from the other two at the table.

“What she means is that you need to be a bit more discreet,” I explained with a sigh.

“Because you’ll end my life first thing if you’re caught?” the girl asked, glancing between me and Charlotte for a moment before shrugging. “No offense, but I’ll take my chances.”

“Wait, so you’re not afraid of them?” Reckt asked in surprise.

“Not really… or well, no more than I’m scared of everything else that can kill me. Which is most things. Have you seen how small I am?”

“I really do think she’s part goblin,” Charlotte muttered.

“Are you still trying to pick a fight with me!?” the girl demanded, actually stopping her eating to glare at my sister, seeming oddly… annoyed by the concept. I didn’t know why. Most of the goblins I’d met were rather nice, if somewhat raunchy, individuals.

“I still don’t get it,” Reckt said, bringing the conversation back around. “You don’t seem to like them, and you aren’t scared by them, so… why?”

“Other than easy food, and never needing to go hungry again?” Singh asked with a shrug. “It seemed amusing. Also, could you maybe drop the sound barrier princess? I wanna call the waitress for more food.”

“Sound barrier?” Charlotte asked, glancing at me.

I shrugged. “I set it up when we sat down. A precaution, considering what we were about to be discussing.” I was a bit surprised that Singh had noticed it, but then perhaps I shouldn’t have been. She actually seemed rather observant.

It made me wonder if perhaps she wouldn’t entirely be a burden after all…?

“Princess? Hey, princess!? The barrier? Food? Remember?”

…Or maybe I was being a bit too optimistic.

Regardless, I did let the barrier down. Not for the brat, mind you, but for Charlotte, who clearly wanted to order even more things off this inn’s admittedly limited menu.

~~~
Author’s Notes

Many thanks to FallingLeaf, both for editing the chapter and coming up with the title!

Depression has continued kicking my butt, but the good news is I’m on new meds! Hopefully they’ll start working sooner than later and I’ll be able to crank out some more stories… In the mean time, I’ve got a special surprise for the $5+ tiers that’ll be going up in a sec!